7 steps to get out of you're own way

F.E.A.R

False Emotions Appearing Real. This unusual paradox is very common among individuals. Occasionally, our false self perception and false self-worth get in the way us achieving someone incredible things, or even doing something we'd love to do. Stepping outside of comfort zone takes balls, it really does, as there can be a lot of risk involved. Often the 'perceived' risk is builds up in our own minds and gets amplified. Often the biggest doubt, is the fear of failure or even, looking stupid. It's crazy right, people use their 'perception' to falsify an experience they've never had. This leads to avoidance, or ironically, criticisism of others for doing that 'thing' they themselves have never done!Other times you may have had a bad experience and holding on to that one event and assume it will repeat itself.  But you'll never know, until you give it a go...

Most of the time, all that is required is a little nudge and a shift in thinking (and a bit pf positive encouragement, with some support can go a long way)...

Have flexibility-have control

The more flexible (openminded) you are, the more control (choices) of you will have.  Let's use this example; if you were like a shire horse with the blinkers on, how much of the world you'd miss out on?  If you don't think 'outside of the box', look at the 'big picture', challenge beliefs, learn and grow, or a make a change, you'll get stuck in the same pattern-doing the same things and getting the same result.   That's fine, unless you're not getting the result you want.  So, open-yourrr-mind...

Image thanks to tee republic.com

Theres no such thing as failure

...'only feedback'.   If you take this approach to thinking, then you can never fail, you can only learn.  It's up to you what you do with the information though.  Do you re group and get better, or do you need to do something else?

We have all the resources we need

All the resources you need right now, is a thought and some action.  Then maybe a pen and paper.  Then a conversation.  You may not feel you have the time, the money, the equipment or the right people in your space right now, but as soon as you get the ball rolling, you'll find what you need to do to make it to the next step, then the next step and...

It's only un-resourceful state that stops us

I've personally been in a bad way with this. Constant moaning, blaming others, self pitying and makes excuses for my shite performance. If you're in this kind of mindset do you honestly think any positive is going to happen? When you're in this sort of state, it kills creativity, love, fun and makes a you a miserable sod to be around (speaking on behalf of others that were around me at the time-sorry guys). If you're having a tough time at the moment, or going through a unfortunate turn of events, believe it or not, you still have control over your emotions, habits and actions. "He makes me feel like shit". No. You made you feel like shit. Letting that person effect how you feel about yourself, is what's making you feel like shit. Sometimes you've got to man up a bit and other times, it may just take a bit of time.

Everyone's model is different

Everybody has different beliefs and values based on experience, upbringing, education and environment. We're smashed with advertising all day on social media, TV, sign boards, T shirts and where ever else. As well as values and beliefs, everybody's goals are different. A Dad of three, working in the city till 10pm 5 days-a-week, may love a six pack, but the priority may be correcting his posture, increasing his energy and improving heart health. Ultimately his goal and purpose is to be around for his family. Athletes' goals are going to be to win every competition and training three time a day, may be their full time paid job. And a guy coming back from a cycling accident, may just to be able walk properly again without pain. Be cautious with setting your expectations of what you 'should' look like and how much you 'should' be able to lift. My favourite is after going to the doctors and him telling you what you 'should' weigh. Do what you want to do for you!

Theres no bad intention

Every outcome has a positive intent (even though another persons behaviour may seem twisted to you).  In respect to fat loss, if you were on a healthy eating routine and you 'break', have you few beers and a kebab on the way home; that doesn't mean you're weak, or you've failed. It just means you wanted to have a bit of fun and and wanted to relax-that was the positive intention. You did it, so now get focused again and move on.

The mind and body are connected

The Whitehall studies, found that workers in low-level jobs, in which they have high stress and little autonomy, have more than twice the risk of developing metabolic syndrome (a precursor of heart disease and diabetes), compared with employees in higher-level jobs (Chandola et al, 2006).
We can all tell when someone's in a bad mood, stressed, down or in pain, just by looking at them. "What's up?' tends to be the automatic question right? Posture reflects emotion. If you're in a 'negative' state your whole physiology will reflect it. If you're stressed out, your fists will be clinched or palms become clammy. The body's temperature increases, shoulders will elevate and vision will be tunnelled. When you're more aware of this state, you can help yourself get out of it by lowering the shoulders, unclenching the fists, slowing your breathing and using your peripheral vision.

If you're down and low, shoulders will round and you'll be looking down. It'll be harder to get oxygen into the lungs so you'll be taking big breaths or sighs. "Keep your chin up mate" is very useful advice here. Stand tall, pull the shoulders back and strut your stuff.

If you're going for a session in the gym, going for particular a personal best, or taking part in a competition; more than ever is a time for mental visualisation and preparation. Boxers 'see' their hand being raised. Racing car drivers and downhill skiers visualise and physically move their body through every twist and turn as if they're actually in the moment. If you're going for a Personal Best on a deadlift for instance, visualise having lifted the bar. In NLP, references to 'anchors' are made as a tool to get you into the 'zone' on the spot. I'll go into more depth on a different day, about how you can take advantage of anchors. Wink-wink.

Do, or Do not do!

You could have all the best ideas and intentions that could change the world and really make a difference in your own life, but if you don't start, you've already stopped.  Forget 'try', just friggin do!

via GIPHY


Keep it real guys

Phil